Every Eurozone cloud has a Greek laugh

Primary Surplus

Little old lady in the village asks her husband, "What does 'primary surplus' mean?"

Husband replies, "In my pocket I have 6 euros, I owe DEI (Public Power Corporation) 500, the bank 1,000 and the taxes 350 euros, but I have 6 euros in my pocket! That is primary surplus."

Greece's capital

What's the capital of Greece?
About 3 euros.

The haircut

A hairdresser in Amsterdam, asks a Greek: "So are you willing to accept a 50% haircut?" (Reference to a plan to ask bondholders to take 50% losses."

The tranche

The International Monetary Fund (IMF) could bailout Greece with another Tranche of money but would rather spend its money paying the luxury hotel bills for its top fatcats.

Borrowing
Have you ever heard of the Greek version of Monopoly?
It's called Monopopolous, and you just borrow all the money from the bank. Everyone loses.

Recession

How do you know it's going to be a double-dip recession?
Greek exports of taramosalata and tzatziki have plunged.

U.S. President Barack Obama's influence

* President Obama thinks it would be easy to bailout Greece from its financial woes, if only they would follow his economic plan and spend more money.
* President Obama just went to the G20 summit to give Europe advice on its debt crisis. Wait, Europe's getting economic advice from Obama? That's like J.Lo getting marriage advice from Kim Kardashian. - Jimmy Fallon

Who pays in the end?

* A joke in Bratislava: "For 400 euros you can adopt a Greek. He'll stay at your place, sleep late, drink coffee, have lunch and then take a nap...