In Kosovo, the 50-Year Secret of a Child Given Away

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Xhemile [not her real name] was 20 years-old when she gave her first child to her husband's brother and his wife, who had been unable to have a child of their own.

That was 50 years ago, when such a step was not unheard of among large families in Kosovo. Usually, however, it remained a secret; Xhemile, now 70, only spoke on condition she not be identified by her real name; the son she gave away, now 50 years-old, was never told.

When Xhemile married, her brother-in-law and his wife had been married six years. "Since I came from a traditional family, I understood the significance of having a child. This is why I first considered this possibility, and then I called my husband to discuss it with him."

Xhemile said she suggested to her husband that if their first born were a boy, they would give him away. Her husband, she said, "looked at me surprised, because he had had the same thought."

Xhemile's sister-in-law agreed, but on one condition - "that she would accept the child whether it was a boy or a girl, healthy or sick, as God created him," Xhemile recalled.

'He calls me aunt'

The day she gave birth, Xhemile handed over the child. "I didn't even give him a name; they did," she said.

Her brother-in-law and his wife lived in Switzerland, which Xhemile said perhaps made it easier. The child was never told. Now 50 years-old, he has a family of his own.

"Contact with my brother-in-law's family continued normally," she said. "They came on vacation every summer, and I treated the boy as their son. He calls me aunt".

"The boy has received a good education and is well-respected in his community. What pleases me is seeing how well they raised and educated him. I have nothing to worry...