Why is technology mean to me?

It is never easy to reexamine one's fundamental convictions, but now I am forced to question my previous disbelief in the existence of Satan. I am compelled to confront this ugly possibility by the fact that from time to time my electronic devices seem to fall under demonic possession.

Now, I should start by saying that I am not someone with a natural animosity toward personal technology. I have been known to be completely reasonable when the supermarket self-checkout machines refuse to let me proceed until I place my last purchased item into the bagging area. I patiently explain, sometimes with dramatic physical reenactments, that, in fact, I have placed the product directly in the center of the bagging area, and even into a bag itself.

Despite these kinds of sympathetic efforts, technology finds me wanting; I am disfavored within the silicon-based community, and the...