The terror of ambivalence

It is not only the fact that we live in oppressive political circumstances, that freedoms are immensely curbed, and that submission is becoming the only option. Worse, we are now supposed to live under the terror of ambivalence.

As a leftist contrarian I have never been supportive of any mainstream politics. I have always been anti-establishment at home, whether it be Kemalist, neoliberal, nationalist, or Islamist. I have never been an anarchist or libertarian, but I could define myself as a moderate leftist political idealist.
 
Up until now, it never occurred to me that the time would come when I would confine myself only to hoping for political stability based on law and order, working institutions, and a constitution that guarantees basic rights and freedoms, falling short of full-fledged democracy. As many friends, acquaintances and thousands of others have lost their jobs, been jailed, or gone into exile, I cannot help but lower my expectations, now simply hoping for a return to "normality." This is the same "normality" that I refused to be satisfied with for many years, as people like me longed for a higher level of democratic rights and freedoms in Turkey. 

Although I have always been very realistic and (consequently) pessimistic political observer, who as early as the end of 2009 was deeply concerned by the authoritarian sway in Turkey, I now think that even I took the previous system for granted. I never really thought that the parliamentary system would be abolished so easily. 

Shortly after the July 15, 2016 coup attempt, politics took an even more authoritarian turn under emergency rule, and I started to think nothing could be done to hinder the ruling party's ambition to achieve regime change. We now live in a...